Son-in-law makes wood-fired pizza from scratch, in-laws say they've "already eaten" and will microwave it later, he throws it in the trash instead: 'That's a deliberate middle finger'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 11, 2025 10:00 PM EST

Everyone who has ever made homemade pizza knows just how much goes into it. In many cases, it's a 2-day affair. If you're making homemade dough, there is so much science and finesse that goes into it. One bad packet of yeast and the whole thing goes belly-up. And then you have to cook the thing. If you're doing it in a true wood-fired oven, then there is a whole separate process. You have to make sure the fire is the right temperature, and that you put the pizza in the right place for the right amount of time. A lot of things can go wrong. It's a labor of love. This is why anyone who has ever had homemade pizza made for them knows that you should appreciate it extra hard. Not only is it delicious (and demands to be eaten straightaway), it probably took a lot out of the maker.

The family in this story couldn't quite understand that, and instead chose to undervalue their son-in-law's hard work. This only led to him feeling even more disrespected than he usually is. 

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  • A man adds cheese to a pizza in a kitchen.
    via Unsplash+ (Jonathan Castañeda)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • So he was left wondering what kind of family would show him this level of disregard. This led to a heated moment that possibly burned some bridges. After it was all said and done, he took stock to figure out who was in the right. Read on for the story and see what's going on here. 

  • Am I in the wrong for throwing a dinner I made for my in-laws in the trash?

    Hi folks! So I've been living together with my girlfriend for eight years. Her parents - I call them my 'in-laws' for lack of a better word - have always been civil to me on the surface but I get the feeling they don't really approve of me. They're x-th generation Canadians and I'm from Central Europe from poor peasant stock and I get the feeling they think I'm not good enough for their daughter.
    via u/TacticalTurnip
  • The last time we visited them (we usually sleep over for the weekend), I tried to make them a nice dinner both to reciprocate for them usually cooking for us and also so they can relax a little. My girlfriend was out with some of her college friends so it was just me and her parents.
    via u/TacticalTurnip
  • There's few things I can make, but those that I can I strive to make really well - and pizza is a labour of love for me. Not to brag but I think I make really good Neapolitan- style pizzas. They'd expressed interest in the past so I thought I'd make them some. I actually brought a portable wood-fired oven along with me, as
    via u/TacticalTurnip
  • well as all of the ingredients and kitchenware, firewood, etc etc. I made sure I was out of everyone's way and did most of this outside on the deck, and made absolutely no mess and cleaned up after myself. I asked them exactly when they would like dinner, and then set about preparing everything. Making a proper pizza in a wood-
    via u/TacticalTurnip
  • fired oven is not a 5 minute thing: you have to proof the yeast, prepare the dough, let it rise, fire up the oven and spend like an hour tending the fire until it gets to temp, etc. So for literally hours they saw me preparing everything, setting the table, and in the hour leading up to dinnertime they saw me outside tending the fire. I even confirmed the time they chose with them a few times, and when I was almost ready to bake the pizzas let them know that they'd be ready in 10 minutes.
    via u/TacticalTurnip
  • So I baked them - they actually turned out really nice - and brought them in to serve them.... ...and they said "Oh, we just ate -- just put them on the counter, we'll microwave them later". And yeah, not my greatest moment but I told them not to bother, turned around and just threw them in the trash (growing up poor I absolutely despise wasting food more than anything else so this actually pained me, but I was fuming mad). I don't mean to
    via u/TacticalTurnip
  • sound like a pizza snob, but when someone spends hours baking you fresh, hot pizza and serves it to you straight from a wood-fired oven you don't leave it on the counter for hours and then 'microwave it'. I honestly think the whole thing was just a deliberate play on their part to put me in my place. It certainly succeeded.
    via u/TacticalTurnip
  • Anyways now my girlfriend's family is all pissed off at me for overreacting, and apparently I'm an epic asshole. Am I? Thanks in advance for your thoughts, cheers
    via u/TacticalTurnip

  • Commenters tried to imagine what kind of family would do this.

    Justjk67 2h ago NTA. They definitely chose to do that to be mean. That said I would never have thrown away the pizzas. I would have just packed up my stuff and left.
    via u/Justjk67
  • • helikasp 2h ago NTA Fresh pizza is an art form. Eating right before when THEY KNOW you're making it for them is a shit move. Saying they're going to microwave it should be a war crime. Eta: throwing it away is also a crime though
    via u/helikasp
  • A man adds toppings to a pizza in a kitchen.
    via Unsplash+ (Jonathan Castañeda)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • fro... • 1h ago Edited 8m ago • How is no one mentioning the fact that the in laws ate supper and just didn't invite him to join? Even outside of them dismissing the pizza, these people sound rude as hell.
    via u/froggyc19
  • Remember, when you date someone their family normally is part of the package. You should 100% talk to your gf about how they treat you and start thinking if this is the kind of treatment you're willing to put up with for the rest of your life.
    via u/froggyc19
  • FlatWonkyFlea • 2h ago NTA. These parents are your GF's responsibility. Why is she going out and leaving you home alone with these people knowing you don't have an easy relationship with them? Do less to try to win them over. They suck, and tbh your GF kinda sucks for letting things get this out of hand.
    via u/FlatWonkyFlea
  • kurokomainu • 2h ago NTA What was the alternative, really? Meekly follow orders. like a good little servant? With a cooler head you might have packed away the pizza and simply left, but I don't blame you at all for the statement. They chose to waste your time and attempt
    via u/kurokomainu
  • to degrade you. There's no way you see someone preparing your food for hours and then tell them as they're ready to serve that you already ate and you'll microwave their fresh out of the oven food later. That's a deliberate middle finger. You don't have to react politely to that.
    via u/kurokomainu
  • SweetMagnoliaVixen • 2h ago NTA-If we could all just be civil when someone spits in our face, then we would all be pushovers. I feel like this was perfectly justified even if it was done in a fit of anger. Make no mistake. They knew exactly what they were doing. Good for you!
    via u/SweetMagnoliaVixen
  • • fauna-angel 2h ago was it an overreaction? maybe, but it was completely warranted given how you've felt they've treated you. you also asked when EXACTLY they'd like dinner- AND they saw you prepare the whole thing. i have a hard time believing they "already ate" or that they somehow were so hungry they just couldn't wait. they're complete ah's for pushing aside your efforts and minimizing them. NTA
    via u/fauna-angel
  • Casual Lore • 2h ago . NTA What they did was extraordinarily disrespectful.
    via u/Casual_Lore
  • Blind BoxBird • 2h ago NTA. That was incredibly rude of them. Did your girlfriend stick up for you? I hope she did, because you don't deserve to be treated this way.
    via u/BlindBoxBird
  • HappySummerBree... • 2h ago Nta They expected to be rude and you to pretend they weren't being rude Theyre shocked and angry that you are acknowledging blatantly that they were rude, and are pretending that youre rude for acknowledging their rudeness Make it make sense
    via u/HappySummerBreeze
  • DeepSpaceBubbles • 2h ago This is a Get Out situation. And you need to get out.
    via u/DeepSpaceBubbles
  • Dear_Coffee8022 • 2h ago What was your girlfriend's response? If she found her parents' actions acceptable or condoned them eating when she knew you were cooking, I'd be reconsidering the relationship. Hopefully she defended you and put her parents in their place, but from what you wrote, I doubt this happened.
    via u/Dear_Coffee8022
  • Aquatichive 2h ago . I agree and I absolutely hate throwing away food, especially something as delicious as this, but I understand your frustration. They were thoughtless and ungrateful for all the work you did to serve them something delicious. NTA
    via u/Aquatichive
  • Novel-Tap5619 · 2h ago NTA. I agree, your in laws were definitely trying to put you in your place. You'd told them about this, confirmed multiple times and then they just do that. Clearly they'd eaten just before because they knew you were just about to serve them food.
    via u/Novel-Tap5619
  • They are the AHs unreservedly. Was your reaction the best? No. Do I blame you? No. I think your reaction is totally understand in the circumstances.
    via u/Novel-Tap5619
  • The issue you have is, whether they were AHS or not (which they were), your in- laws are going to hold this against you. They can hold their perspective of you being rude to them against you, and realistically that only goes. after years or them admitting they did wrong. Given your current position with them, seems unlikely they're going to admit fault.
    via u/Novel-Tap5619
  • Where does your girlfriend stand on this, does she support you, or does she side with her parents?
    via u/Novel-Tap5619
  • • thoracicbunk 2h ago ESH They are, for obvious reasons. You because you got down in the mud with them. You wanted to punish them as a power play, and congratulations, you succeeded.
    via u/thoracicbunk
  • You can use your words like a big boy. "Wow, you already ate? I have to say, I'm really disappointed. I love to make pizza and was excited to share this with you. Microwaving it after is a travesty, haha. We had talked about me making pizza, did
    via u/thoracicbunk
  • the plans change?" Make them explain it. Loop in your GF for support. Hold on to your own integrity instead of getting petty. Maybe they had a health issue flare, or lost track of time and snacked, or just are pizza heathens and only normally eat $5 frozen Tony's pizzas.
    via u/thoracicbunk
  • You essentially went, If you guys don't want my gift to you the way I want to give it, you don't get it at all!!! This has big "toxic bf punching walls" vibes. Tbh, this reads like missing missing reasons. You've been together with your partner for 8 years and they don't like
    via u/thoracicbunk
  • you? Maybe have something to do with the fact that you haven't gotten married yet, and they think you're wasting their daughter's time? Or is this not the first time that you've had an out of proportion response and punished them for not "respecting" you?
    via u/thoracicbunk

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